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Tick Tock

Hidden
Beneath the ashes, under dresses
Miserable tick tock misery tick tock mine tick tock
I feel my brain skip a beat
savoring the missing link
That gap leaping between
Rationality and the unseen
Misery tick tock more of this brain lock can’t keep this place blocked
my brain skips a beat
my consciousness retreats
I stare in disbelief
at my body on the floor
Building walls tick tock raindrops fall tick tock
Branches break, shamrock
Luck lost, tick tock
I feel my brain skip a beat

2 thoughts on “Tick Tock”

  1. I love this poem!

    I think my favorite part of it is that insert of ‘tick tick’ in the middle of lines, it happens almost unexpectedly but still flows so well with where they are!

    I also really like the repeated words “brain skips a beat”; I think it’s a really unique way to phrase that moment where it feels like your brain isn’t working. I’m so used to reading ‘heart skips a beat’ that I thought it was a nice twist. Even more so given that a lot of the time there’s always a heart vs. head discussion when talking about things.

    I think that if you wanted to revise this poem it would be really cool to add more of both of the above things I mentioned; I think these are the golden moments in your poem and adding more couldn’t hurt, right ? 😉

    Great job! Keep it up!

  2. This poem really touched me. I felt connected like I was a part of it. And it was a part of me. As always great job, but I think I’m a bit partial. Love you.

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